" I am a dog outside your door I have been here since a quarter to 4. U are cat licking intense I bite your leg in self defense". - Prince Rogers Nelson
I remember this day 4 years ago. I was at work when I got the news and I was shattered.. I have been a Prince fan since I saw When Doves Cry. I recall before this human left this earth how I myself was stuck in a creative rut . I couldn't write, sing, do anything that required a creative thought. When Prince left us the tears flowed and so did the rain. It rained for 17 days. It was a heaviness in the air that had everyone feeling as if they would never dry from the sky's tears. For the past 2 weeks I have been feeling this heaviness. I don't know if it is the current Pandemic that got me this way or if it was the impending anniversary of the death of Prince . I don't know . I just knew there was a heaviness and it crept in like an unwanted visitor and decided to stay a while. I saw a FB post today that said they were experiencing "The Dip". I was fine then the dip or better yet , "The Fuckening" it was heavy and it kept me up at night. It was not only affecting me but my baby girl also. I had to take spiritual action and put in some work. Now I am here rocking my Prince T-shirt in bed and reflecting on the situations in life that attack and my creativity becomes the martyr . Its frustrating to an extent because I want to be active during a time where I have the time to do so. I then realized that my body needed a rest and I work better in high stress situations which is not a good thing if I cannot be productive during peaceful laid back times. I have songs to write ... Ask me if I wrote any songs???? LOL I laugh but its not funny to me. I am attempting to just allow whatever processes that's happening to just happen even if it feels like laziness to me. I am a individual who doesn't sit still. Now I'm forced to find other stuff to do with my time . I realized that I must be ass backwards if I am normally peaceful and fluid in stressful times and a fucking spilled mess all ova the floor during peaceful times. "where they do that at". I will rest and hope for the best in the morning.