Good Morning Moon Bae's ,
Last night I had the honor of being interviewed on Soul conversations on wpfw 89.3. I had a blast talking with my Fam DJ YZO and Kim. It definitely felt like I stepped into the Delorian and went back in time. Its rare when you have folks that are a witness to your "Glow Up". It got me to thinking about that girl they met in the past ....... Yeah this girl
This is 22 year old me bad skin, No fucks to give and the side eye queen. Not to mention a foul mouthed ego maniac that did whatever she wanted to do . I had talent and wild was my middle name. I had a fearlessness that made me feel like I could do anything and the world owed me everything. My 41 yr old self would say to this 22 yr old self. "Sitcho attention grabbing ass down and shut the hell up. " Channel your wild , embrace your fearlessness with less ego and stop cussing so damn much !! Oh that was the 41 yr old me cussing LOL . Some things are still works in progress. I didn't know then that what I carried with me ... my energy, my vibe , my aura spoke louder that my big ass mouth at the time. I was a hard pill to swallow adorned with anger. My perfume was pissed off patchouli and my words cut like a ginsu . I was once referred to as "Weather" like a storm just came thru and folks were unprepared . I was loud, very insecure and realized that I had an effect on people. Especially men which made it hard for me to build lasting relationships with women because I was obviously always tryna take their man ;which was never the case . I wasn't wild in the sense of being a sexual extrovert , I was wild as in nature. I walked barefoot on U st. Wrapped myself in 7 inches of white cloth put on flip flops and went to the spot drinkin amaretto and sprite . I sat on the ground. I didn't take No for an answer. I was spoiled and I always got my way until I got in my own way.
Maisha said to me just yesterday "I don't see that in you " . Oh but it was there. When you are young you are still trying to figure things out. I thought I knew it all. I was powerful and didn't know how to hold that in a way that wasn't filled with anger. I lacked compassion and was overprotective of myself due to trauma that I refused to face. I was always told to tone it down ;you are too much . You shouldn't say that. Women didn't like me very much or were constantly trying to mute me. I laugh now . All that Black Girl Magic stuff , unapologetic energy that women are now being praised for ...back then I was ridiculed for it . I guess in many ways I was ahead of my time. I'm older now and more seasoned. I know my power and use it for good . Words are important to me so I don't waste my breath or thoughts just so I can hear the sound of my own voice. I move in silence. I take correction no matter how uncomfortable. I love myself and am accountable . Anger has been drowned and taken to the bottom of the ocean and devoured by Olokun. I am a woman , a mother , an artist. I am sexual , sensual and spiritual and I will never apologize for that. I am open about who I was and who I have become and who I am becoming because judgement of others who are following a path that is not understood is ... how can I say this intellectually .... um .. "WACK". We all have our own journey and we get there how we get there. I know I was not always this way but because of that I can speak freely on how you can grow into the best version of yourself. I am flawed. I am beautiful and I am ready. Its my time .